Do you want your death to be an event or a situation?
An event is defined as a planned and organized occasion or an occurrence, especially one of importance. While a situation is described as a set of circumstances that you find yourself in or an important or sudden problem. What makes the difference between your death being an event or a situation? The answer is intentionality. We are all going to die but whether we purposefully prepare and plan for our death, or not, can make all the difference to our future self and our loved ones.
Our death care options are continuously expanding and growing more encompassing which empowers us to create the dying experience that is the most authentic for us. Advance directives give you the space to choose healthcare decisions that are meaningful to you and a vehicle to share this information with your loved ones to ensure that your wishes are followed. Advance Directives also function as a harmonizing instrument, to facilitate unified understanding among your family, loved ones, and care team of what you want which lends to less conflicting or opposing opinions and beliefs. When loved ones know they are honoring your wishes, even if they may not agree with it, it often instills a deeper sense of peace and resolution within their souls.
If you have designated a Health Care Proxy, that is a great start but to complete a comprehensive personal directive or living will is what will support your person in the gravity of this responsibility, and it is a tremendous gift and act of love. With modern medicine it is rarely as simple as unplug or not. Taking the time to explore options, possibilities, and what matters most to you will guide your loved ones through the many gray areas of healthcare and end-of-life decisions.
What does a good death look like to you? Peaceful, hushed voices, prayers, candles, soft background music, aromatherapy, dim lighting, close family? OR, Energy, noise, family and friends the more the merrier, singing, cooking, eating, comforting chaos? What would you like your end-of-life services to look like? Home funeral, cared for by your loved ones, followed by a natural burial wrapped in a shroud? OR, funeral home embalming, a viewing, and traditional religious services? All of these and more are beautiful and valid options but will resonate differently to different people. Creating your own plan is important and putting these things in writing will alleviate profound amounts of stress from difficult decisions that will fall upon your loved one in their early waves of grief.